I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
