I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
