I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
