i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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