you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
