thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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