It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
