im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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