Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
