her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
