I want you more than these girls want KFC
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
