If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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