You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
