I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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