Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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