dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
