this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
