Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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