brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
false alarm. still invincible.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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