i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
