I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
