is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
