Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She announced her abortion via fbk
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Boobs are out for the taking
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
