I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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