I love black thongs
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
