The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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