I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
