She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
