like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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