don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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