We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Alive.
So much puke
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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