WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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