If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
