I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
