Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was a blind-side dick pic.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
