Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
