I got chris browned last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
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That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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