But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
