I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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