hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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