i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
