This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
