Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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