Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if only i could text you this smell
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
