What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
