apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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