I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
3pm strippers are depressing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
