Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize