his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
