Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
did you just send me my own nude
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
