I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
pray to the hookup gods
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
