fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
