And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
