I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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