Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
