I must be too annoying 4 u.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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