i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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