i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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