sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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