he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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