You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
