I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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