I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
pop tarts are not kleenex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
