Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize