I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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