I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
