We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
